Ann Arbor Magic Club

IBM 210 - SAM 88

Funny Business #3

In this month's Funny Business we share some of John Osborne's favorite gags courtesy of Ming

Why are Fire Engines Red

Why are fire engines red? 
A hook and ladder is a fire engine,
a ladder has rungs which is the past tense of ring,
and when that bell rings you can hear it for miles,
miles are measured in feet,
one foot is a ruler,
Queen Mary was a ruler,
Queen Mary is a ship,
ships sail on the ocean,
oceans have fish,
fish have fins,
fins live in Finland which is next to Russia,
Russians are red,
fire engines are always rushin'
so that's why fire engines are red!
Another rare funny bit from John:
A petunia is a flower like a begonia,
a begonia is a ring of sausage,
sausage and berries is a crime,
monkeys crime, monkeys crime trees,
trees a crowd,
and when the crow crowds it makes a horrible noise,
a noise is on your face between your eyes,
eye is the opposite of nay,
horses nay,
and if you go to bed with a colt,
you might wake up with double petunia!
Here's one John and I would often do at parties during a lull:
John:  Say whatever happened to Bolliver Shagnasty?
Ming:  What was his name?
John: What was who's name?
Ming: Bolliver Shagnasty.
John:  Never heard of him!
Needless to say we rarely got invited back.  I can tell you many more bits such as egyptus restuna, or the man with the power, but it will have to wait for another time.  By the way the bits are funnier if you say it fast.
Please spread the above and bring smiles thanks to John😂!

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