Who remembers Robert Orben?
He was a prolific comedy writer and magician whose one-liners and gag books became must-have material for comedians, speakers, and performers alike.
Over his career he published more than 40 books on humor, including many collections of jokes and patter.
Early in his career he even wrote books specifically for magicians—like The Encyclopedia of Patter and Magicdotes—that blended humor with the art of performance, the kind of material perfect for filling pauses, covering moves, and getting laughs before a big reveal.
I was surprised to learn he only passed away in 2023. You could subscribe to his newsletter/joke sheet called "Orben's Current Comedy". They provided a regular feed of topical one liners. They were used by magicians, Radio Broadcasters and other performers everywhere.
Later in his career he became a speech writer for President Ford.
Some of Robert Orben’s Lines
“I knew I was getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”
“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.”
“I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s somewhere warm.”
“A committee is a group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.”
“I started with nothing—and I still have most of it.”
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
“A budget is a method for going broke methodically.”
“I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.”
“I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.”
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.”
“Some people are so busy being clever they don’t have time to be wise.”
“The problem with experience is that by the time you get it, you’re too old to use it.”
