A man stumbles upon a magical lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie says that he will grant the man only one wish, and that he has to pick from three choices. He can either be the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world.
The man says, “We all know that money does not bring happiness, and that popularity just makes you a slave to the whims of others, but wisdom is everlasting. I want to be the wisest man in the world.”
The Genie goes “poof” and suddenly the man’s face assumes a serene expression. He sits down, rubbing his chin in thought. Then he looks towards the genie and says, “I should have taken the money.”
Steven Wright one liners...
I spilled spot remover on my dog, now he’s gone.
What’s another word for Thesaurus?
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes Monopoly.
I went to the General store, they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
I’m going to get an MRI to find out whether or not I have claustrophobia.
I’m addicted to placebos.
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
In Vegas I got into an argument with a man at the roulette wheel about what I considered to be an odd number.
Why do irons have a setting for permanent press?
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
My brother was a clown for the Ringling Brothers Circus and when he died all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
I wrote a few children’s books… not on purpose.
Every morning I get up and make instant coffee so I’ll have enough energy to make the regular coffee.
